My dear blogging friends,
After two and a half years of blogging in this space, I am picking up and moving on to a new corner of the internet. (You can click here if you want to bypass my long Pen and View good bye letter.) Funny how happy/sad I am about this move. Actually, it's not surprising to me. I am what I call a "slow transitioner". I love to dream about the future, yet I am quite sentimental about change. I tend to turn the page to the next chapter with much thought, reflection, grieving.
When I started this blog it was for two reasons: to document our family life in photos and words, and to improve upon my camera skills. Frankly, I have never liked the name of this blog (I picked it in a rush to just get going with my blog idea) but it grew to settle on me in a comforting sort of way. This is where I penned my thoughts, documented the photographic life of my last few years. It is a journal I will keep forever.
But you see, over a year ago I purchased a new photo space (see, I dream about my future!) in an effort to move towards what I thought I should be, and then Life happened, like happened hard. I had made some plans but I had no emotional space to deal with pursuing anything but the day in front of me, leaving my dreams and plans to sit on the back burner of my heart. I think you can relate.
But as we all know, when Life happens, we cannot assume that we are wasting time/purpose/energy. Life is never wasted; there is always some purpose to the spinning, stalling, struggling of our present moments.
I read this line the other day in Abraham Verghese's book Cutting for Stone: Life: you live it forward, and understand it backwards. How very true this has been for me.
In the past year I have wrestled with myself quite a bit, much of it over what direction I wanted to take in regards to my photography, how I enjoy creating, and what I should "do" with all of it. I realize now that the last year was good in its hardness because it prevented me from making rash decisions about how I should proceed. It also made me reflect on why I thought I should be "doing" anything in the first place. (Why are we so plagued with futuristic living and doing? Is it to settle the anxiety over not being enough in the now?)
So why "do" now? While I believe I have settled a bit into knowing my creative self better, I have sensed in the past two months what I can only describe as a slow "uprooting" in my heart. This feeling of the final words being written on the previous chapter. The bubble (no, the boil) of desire to get a move-on to begin writing the words on the next one. I think this feeling has more to do with my entire life--my family, our direction--than just my own creative pursuits.
I do not want to be Pen and View anymore. I want to be Me. And I think it's now time to get Me settled onto the fresh new page of the chapter because I think more is on the Life horizon.
With that all said, my blogging friends, please join me over in my new space. It is not drastically different than this one here, as I am a simplistic girl at heart, so I hope you like it.
But before you go, I want to say thank you all for the love you have deposited here over the last few years. It has meant more to me than you know.
Off to begin writing the new words on the fresh blank page...
You can follow me at: tmorrisphotography.com
p.s. I decided to leave Pen and View up for the time being until I figure out how to archive it to a safe place. And, it's a good reminder for me of what growth looks like when I am feeling stuck in the present.