When we are old ladies...

A couple of weeks ago some friends of ours gathered for my son's birthday on the beach. It was a unique moment in that three of my dearest friends on the planet were all in one space together. This happens perhaps once a year, if that, and so I was very pushy about handing the camera off to one of the hubbies in an effort to capture me with them. I do not tell them enough how much I love them, or how much they have meant to me, so today I am going to gush. I make no apologies for the length of this post. I know it might be boring for you to read about my personal friendships, but I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of true friendship lately and these women are the picture of what it means to me. I wanted to encapsulate my memories and thoughts about them in an effort to publicly state just how important they are to me.

Below is a mix of treasured memories and insights about each of them.

"VW" (vee-dub)

• She was my post college roommate for four years, which probably explains why...  
• ...little old ladies in church and countless others have mistaken us for sisters. And it only gets more frequent as time goes on. Just the other day a fellow mistook us for twins. (What? I'm a blond right?)
• Our first conversation took place in 1989 over the identical denim Guess overalls we owned. (This was the 80's people.) Hundreds of dressing rooms, "fashion checks", and accidental matchy matchy outfits later...
• There were many long shopping afternoons after church that resulted in her passing out in the passenger seat on the way home.
• She is my special friend who insists on a nice hotel room and room service.
• She has taught me the art of buying, returning, buying, returning, until the perfect item is found.
• There have been many road trips in various cars "rented" from her dad's car dealership: minivans to Disneyland, Jeeps Wranglers down the coast of California, and the governmental-issued sedans for various other outings.
• She really listens to me, has logged thousands of hours (sometimes over hundreds of miles) of conversation with me--over everything near and dear. She knows me well...like a sister.
• I have a treasured memory of "shopping" in a "grocery store" in the heart of Baja Mexico, attempting to buy food to feed 50+ college students. Quiero dos kilos de jamon americano, por favor.
• I believe that she was one of the first women to insist on having her bridesmaids wear black at the wedding. This was during the time when bridesmaids were relegated to the poofy, lacy, prom dresses in hues of peach and teal. (You're such a trend setter VW.)
  
• There was that time we slept in a small tent with our husbands in Door County, Wisconsin,  and suffered many a weird look. (Hey, we were trying to save money and car space by not having to pack two tents in a two door Honda Civic!)  I also remember traveling the mid west country side swearing that we'll never own lawn art. (Have you seen how serious mid westerners are about their lawn art?) Oh, but the Wisconsin cheese was pretty good.
• We have shared hundreds chocolate themed desserts. And cheese plates. And only one Cosmopolitan on a New Years Eve outing in Chicago. (I will just say this: never again.)
• She hiccups when she laughs too much. My son inherited this trait from her. Love that.
• She thinks I am the best mom and is always calling for "tips".  I am always so afraid to burst her bubble especially when I think she is the best mom.
• She is fiercely loyal and protective and would defend me to her grave. 
• She has an eye for efficiency and business and is an amazing leader when she takes on that role. I have a feeling she will be stepping up to more of those roles in the near future.
• She calls to arrange "Tracey Time" even if it's shopping the aisles of Target for toilet paper and toothpaste. (We have been known to be at Target 'till 11pm during holiday hours.)
• I remember the long hard conversation about the boy who was a "friend" that she had been meeting at coffee shops to "study with" and "talk". They had planned another "study" time and he had come to her work, dressed up, holding a dozen red roses, to state his intentions that he would like their meeting to be a date, and would that be okay with her?  I looked her in the face and told her that if she didn't snag this guy then she was making the biggest mistake of her life. What man would be so public in his intentions, so forthright, so crystal clear, when most of us, at the time, were dating uncommunicative, wishy-washy boys?!  An amazing man, that's what.
• She is always stating the best about me, always encouraging me.
• We will find each other in Heaven at the calorie-free chocolate bar. (Yes, there is one there!) And she will forgive me for the poundage she gained in our college days from my chocolate chip cookies.

Someday we will be two old ladies, sisters, shopping the aisles of T.J.Maxx. We'll be the ones laughing and chatting, our carts full, only to be emptied once we realize we don't want to spend the money. Warning: we may be wearing black leggings as our fashion cycles always seem to circle back to them.

 "A-Cheese" (can you tell who is who in the picture above?)

• She is my "unofficial" roommate due to many shared rooms, beds, cars over the last twenty one years. If we went to the same college I'm sure we would have found each other. But alas, she went to the "party" school. I went to the studious university. Ironically, she got the better education.
• My first impression of her as I watched her on the beach during summer camp counselor orientation week: fun, extroverted, life of the party, out-going----she'll never want to be friends with me.
• Two weeks later we raced through the mountains in her little car, late for a meeting, stuck behind a slow semi, laughing at our predicament. We've been racing through life together ever since, often on the same road, staring down the same semi. A gift from God truly, that he would give me someone so dear with which to share the road.
• I have lost count over the many talks we have had while sitting in beach chairs, slathering on tanning lotion. --Talks about boyfriends, life, then marriage, then parenting, then probably back to boyfriends once our girls start dating. (Oh, and we've moved on to sunscreen.)
• It is no surprise then, that in heaven we will find each other at the beach. Two beach chairs waiting side by side, with a big bowl of guacamole and chips on the side.
• We held each other's hands (and feet) through the births of our children. And yes, I do have picture proof of her and my hubby watching tv while I labored through contractions.
• We share a love for camping trips, but they always seem to end with a bear experience. (We can all agree that I am totally useless in a bear experience.)
• In our college days we took trips to the Renaissance Fair, shopping the trinket booths for the boyfriend at the moment. (Ahem, cough cough...her boyfriend of the moment.)
• I vividly remember talking her down off the "what am I going to do?" ledge when she discovered the guy who had been sending her love notes drove a late 1970's copper colored Camero, and had a mullet. I talked her off the ledge because he really was a good catch, honest and faithful, and probably could be convinced to sell the car and cut his hair...which he did. And then she married him.
• Every time I go to her house she pulls out her new chip "find" because she knows I will thank her for the new discovery, and eat the entire bag. 
• She is known for frequently "hamming it up". And, not easily embarrassed. Not sure if she'll be exactly like her ninety-something Italian grandma wearing her bra around the house in front of her house guests, but she might come close. I hope she comes close.
• She laughs so hard, she laughs at herself laughing, and then laughs at us laughing at her, laughing. Thinking about this part of her makes me laugh.
• I razz her often about the time we were sitting on her front porch in her college-town and I was insisting that she cut my hair. How hard could it be to cut a straight line? A little trim? I still love her, but I shoulda paid a professional.
• She is faithful and true, wears her heart on her sleeve for me.
• She always says, "Love ya friend" when we hang up on the phone.
• She is passionate (must be the 100% Italian blood) about her convictions, family, her integrity and a great example to me of what it means to be selfless. 
• Someday God will offer her a big comfy bed of rest with an all-you-can eat platter of Italian food. It will be a generous reward for her hard work ethic and the fact that God gave her an earthly hubby who was allergic to tomatoes.  (I know! How unfortunate is that for a 100% Italian girl?!)

Someday we'll be two old ladies still dragging our hubbies on camping trips, talking around the campfire. Except that we'll own our Airstream trailers. And we won't have to make hot dogs and mac-n-cheese.

RM

• She is my "would have been a college roommate if I had known her then" because it feels like I have known her forever.
• I remember finding her amongst a group of young married couples at church and discovering we were both high school teachers to sophomores and then later, that we were pregnant at the same time. Our boys were born five days apart. Our friendship was sealed.
• We traveled the new-mom road with all of its highs and lows. (Oh and there were lots of both.)
• She takes a keen interest in my life and always calls to get "caught up". I will never get tired of hearing her say, "So tell me about your weekend!"
• She has a crazy love for movies. She really should have been a movie critic, writing reviews for the press. She is my twice-a-year, movie partner (our birthdays are exactly six months apart) and always loves a good discussion following the flick. I know there was some slight grieving when Orlando Bloom married over the summer.  I meant to send flowers but forgot.
• I remember calling her while sitting on the couch, nursing my newborn son, and asking her, the once soap opera queen, to explain the back stories to All My Children.
• I also remember frequently calling her for baby napping advice.
• And calling her for dinner suggestions.
• And calling her for vitamin and food advice.
• And calling her for thoughts on why my skin is so itchy, my husband so tired, my son wakes up so snotty nosed.
• And calling 911 when her first born boy slipped and fell and snapped his right femur in two. Then bringing her meals while she tended to her three year old son in a half body cast.
• And then there was that time a couple of years later she called me to tell me her middle boy had snapped the same femur in the same place while snow sledding. I felt her pain...and began praying for her youngest boy. 
• I have swapped many a book with her, waiting for each other to finish so we can "chat, review, assess".
• We have pushed our jogger strollers over miles and hills, talking and feeding our kids Cheerios along the way to keep them occupied. 
• Early on in our friendship we discovered our mutual need for chips to accompany our sandwiches. (Who is the person that can eat a sandwich without chips??)
• I was sad when she canceled her People magazine subscription because that meant the end of it for me too.
• We will find each other in Heaven at the all-you-can-eat-fully-gluten-and-sugar-laden buffet. And we will not have any lasting after effects. 
• Ha! I loved discovering her love for the 80's and watching her do the Hungry Like the Wolf crawl at her 40th bday party. (Remember that Duran Duran video 80's people?)
• She is my newly found texting friend. (A-Cheese and VW have not arrived yet.) 
• She remembers more about the details of my life than I often do. She is extremely perceptive and wise, always cheering me on toward health and wholeness in every area of my life.
• Someday she will own her own health and wellness clinic. Oh, and she will get that uninterrupted full-night's sleep.

When we are little old ladies we will be still walking and talking, going to see the latest movie, or meeting at some coffee shop, and probably still texting to "check in". And I will still enjoy answering the phone to hear her say, "Tell me about your weekend!"

Each of these women occupy a special spot in my heart that the other cannot fill. They are irreplaceable sisters and I am one blessed woman to know, and be known by, them.

Let the whole world know that I love, love, love them beyond words.

(Now I can pretty much go water the flower bed with the bucket of tears I just cried.)

P.S. I'd like to think that my reflex skills are quick and that is why I am so ahead of them running 

from that wave. But honestly, I think I just saw it coming and then I might have yelled at 

them to get out of the way, but probably not. 

Every woman for herself! 

 Wow. I'm such a good friend.

P.P.S. And thanks Mr. S for taking the camera off of my hands. You worked it man!