Two images

My kids and I visited Costco yesterday. It was like a trip to Disneyland: massive crowds and waiting in long lines, except that it wasn't fun.
As we entered the store there was a very dirty homeless man digging through the garbage eating the leftovers from thrown away lunches. He was a filthy, disheveled man and my kids noticed him at once. Zach was the first to say something to me as he was quite distressed over the fact that someone was eating out of the garbage can. (My son has a tiny bit of a germ phobia inherited from his parents--though I swear I am not as bad as I once was.)
We looked in my wallet and found three dollars. Not much, but it could actually buy a feast at Costco. So we walked over to the scruffy man and encouraged him to go get something to eat. He thanked us profusely...and then continued to babble on in a string of incoherent words that left me wondering if I was hearing him right, or if my hearing was going out. Fortunately, for my sake, my hearing was all good, but this left me explaining to my kids what the words "mental illness" meant. (Fun Costco conversation while shopping for daddy's prezzies.)

All joking aside...
I have been thinking about that man and the image of him digging through that garbage can. How a human mind and soul can be so bent inward upon itself that it imprisons the life that was created to be free. How painfully base your life can be that you are digging through trash to keep yourself alive.

But the part of the image that pierced me the most was this: the crowds of people pushing their loaded carts past him while he gingerly opened the used food wrappers atop the garbage can. In my mind he is a stark image of loneliness amongst the gross materialism, consumerism (that I was a part of) and busyness rushing past him.

I don't know why it has haunted me so much, but it has.

Today when I snapped the girls giggling and hugging, showing me their crafty tree ornaments, I saw a picture of friendship and love, two little souls nurtured by the companionship that friendship brings. This is how our lives are to be. Right? Having someone to love and to be loved is what keeps us connected to life and community. And I wondered how many of those Costco shoppers, though dressed in clean clothes with fat wallets in their pockets and loaded shopping carts, were actually more like that homeless man than they cared to admit: alone amongst a sea of people. How dangerously isolating that can be when your outward appearance does not match the truth of the inward reality of despair and loneliness. It is easier to spot the lonely homeless.

These two images of loneliness and companionship certainly fueled my thoughts. This season, and in the new year, I will pray for eyes to see, and hands to help, those that are "digging through the trash" with dirty and clean clothes on. Looking for scraps because they are lost, sick, or alone because no one has reached out a hand of love to share in the abundance she (myself) has been given. We were never meant to be alone.

Welcome Winter

Today is the first day of Winter. I briefly stepped out side (taking a break from making chocolate peanut butter balls--my family's fave holiday treat) to use my camera and was met with barren trees, dead grass, and withering life, not a traveling snail or wayward bird in sight. The rain quietly dusted the world around me. I love stepping out into the silence.

As I gazed up into the trees, once full of life and color, I wondered what was needed to help those fragile leaves in letting go. A gusty breeze? A wintery storm? A good shake?

Because often in my own winter I feel the need to hang on to something that once gave me "life." Until a storm comes along and loosens my grip.

It takes a winter to remind me that my life is about seasons. And each is essential for growth. In my winters I discover that letting go gives me a better grip. I just have to let go to discover the truth of it.

winter gear, winter fun

After many attempts to post yesterday with a lame-o internet connection, I finally gave up. (Maybe a message: just cross it off your list and move on you tired girl.)

So join with me in looking back to our festivities from yesterday, which included breakfast with Grammy and Papa early in the morning, organizing gifts for some needy families, shopping for last minute gifts, and a holiday party at a friend's house--complete with snow! No driving up to the mountains...we had it brought to us. How fun is that? (Except I had to dig through our snow gear to see if anything still fit.)

The kids had a fun time on the make shift sled run. I followed all the cute booted girls around to capture their fun boots. The one above was my favorite. Where can I get me some of those?!

Off to another Christmas party! The festivities never end.

(I am going to need a long winter's nap when all is said and done.)

Riding Ruby (Part 2) Or...What Zach and I were doing while Bean was riding Ruby

So I am sure that my post yesterday left you giddy with anticipation over what my son could have possibly been doing while Bean was off riding Ruby. Those muddy hands must have given you some clue, right? If you have not figured out already, my son is a boy who loves to get his hands dirty. And yesterday he found the perfect muddy patch and dug right in. He was so excited to show me his mud ball--all compact and rich with earth. He made several. Here he is with one of his perfect orbs of mud...

He carried it around, tossing it back and forth. It attracted Copper, who followed him with his own sense of anticipation.

Look at Copper. That look says, "Dude. When you gonna throw that thing?!" Zach gave in and then spent some minutes making mud balls for his shadow, tossing them into the air only to have Copper find them disintegrating upon mouth contact. Poor Copper. Unmet expectations often brings frustration, but not for Copper. He insisted on more and willingly played the game.

I on the other hand, found my unmet expectations bringing immense frustration. The woman who lived on the west side of the property is one of the country's leading sheepdog trainers. When we arrived she was out training her dogs and it was amazing to watch. When she left the sheep to graze the light was just too beautiful for me to ignore, so I crept along the fences to capture the vivid grass and the peaceful grazing of the sheep. It was so peaceful out there. (I am such a pastoral kind of gal.)

As soon as I crept close enough the stupid animals freaked. It was hard to tell who sent out the alarm message but one flinched and the rest followed and they scurried away--leaving me with only a rear end view. It was almost like a message: "Take this Lady!"
And then one popped up, on guard, as if to say: "Just keep your distance Lady."

Yeah, whatever. I got the message. Next time when Bean is out riding Ruby (or Rocky or Bandit) then I'll bring along my massive zoom lens--maybe don my camo gear and paint my face, borrow some of Zach's mud...

Riding Ruby (Part 1)

Today was riding day for McBean, and today she got to ride Ruby. Sweet Ruby. Michaela explained to me (while brushing Ruby down) that Ruby was Bandit's girlfriend. Bandit was her horse last week. (Must keep up with the barn gossip.)
And below is Bean's riding friend getting ready to set out on Indy. (I could not get enough of the back light pouring into the barn--so beautiful!)

Today was Bean's first time riding in the "inside" arena.
Here they are doing their laps.

I'm tellin' ya...I loved that golden light streaming in,
making everything seem just a bit more magical.

I loved how every time they rounded the bend, Ruby's tail would light up.

My cowgirl even let me snap a picture of her after she was done.
Oh, and she did her own pony tails today.
I love it when she wears her hair like this.

Tomorrow...part 2 of our day. I leave with you a little foreshadowing...

(To be continued.)

"I sold 35 tubs of cookie dough for my school fundraiser...

...and all I got were these stupid, silly, glasses." (t-shirts are being designed as I write!) Well actually, that is not all she won. She and her brother combined orders (to win more goodies) and received the ultimate in prizes: the "Swirly Mug". An amazing invention that swirls your chocolate syrup into your milk glass to make the perfect, frosty glass of chocolate milk. (You know you're jealous.)

So here she is modeling the wacky eyeglasses for the camera. Her sidekick was a tad more shy about trying them on--plus she wanted to indulge in her extreme chocolate/Recess Pieces cookie. If your friend sold 35 tubs of dough you get to partake in the rewards!

Noe

She was born almost a year ago. Her name was going to be Olivia, but instead, her parents decided to name her Noel when she arrived as the best gift ever on Christmas day. Now she is "Noe" for short. Noel Olivia. (Isn't that the best story?) I met her mama a long time ago when we were each so young and carefree and all we thought about was decorating our apartments and learning how to cook for our husbands. (I'm still trying to decorate and cook, so things really haven't changed much.) But it was so sweet to see my old friend and catch up and snap some quick pictures of her Noe and her amazing eyes (just like her mama's).
I have titled the picture below: "Noe at the window." It should really be titled: "Noe staring out at my ugly back yard littered with old pizza boxes, milk jugs, and rotting pumpkins and lemons (used for airsoft gun targets), but I think I like the first title better because it sounds so much more...well...not like reality.

Is not she just the sweetest thing?

Oh, and before I go I am going to shamelessly plug her mama's website. If being "green" is your thing then visit Pennywise Planet. It searches the internet for green deals, so you don't have to. And you can save some of your own green in the process. (How's that for a plug? And I swear I wasn't paid to say this!)

tiny feet

I remember seeing this shot through my view finder and thinking how those little feet were so precious, and soft, and vulnerable. (And I was also diggin' the faded pinks and yellows in the background--perfect for tiny little baby feet.)

Those feet have yet to know how hard the journey can be sometimes. (I am sure they will learn soon enough.) Even so, we work hard to protect our young from having to bare the crosses that they are given to carry, because it hurts us to watch them experience pain.  Yet, I think deep down we know that the tough parts of life are what mold us into the uniqueness of who we are. It is always a fine line we walk with our children: always carrying our children to protect them from the painful, ugly parts of life...or walking with them through the trials so that their feet can learn to walk on their own. So that their own feet can carry the weight of their being with sureness and bravery. 

I pray every day that God gives me the strength to be the parent that chooses the latter. 

All I want for Christmas...

...is my two front teeth!
(finally...I was beginning to wonder if that front tooth was here to stay.)

Vintage Christmas

Every Christmas season I am drawn to the vintage-y cards and papers, glitter and tinsel. I am somewhat of a paradox: I love to browse through vintage shops and websites but I rarely bring something home. It doesn't quite match my modern/comfortable/California girl vibe. (If I could live anywhere it would be on the California coast in a modern beach bungalow that looked like something out of the pages of Coastal Living.)
Yet every holiday season I pull out my vintage advent calendar, and vintage ornaments and wish I could be back with my English ancestors celebrating with tinsel and candle-lit trees. I think it's the nostalgic feeling of it all--the throw back to simpler times when getting an orange in your stocking was a treat.
The little children in the fold of this advent calendar bring such a smile to my face...the children playing their instruments, the angel in the window with her flute, the little kitty...all dusted with glitter, celebrating the fact that the Christ Child has come.

I would love to join them...