Three lessons for my children...

Lesson number ONE:

Sometime in your life you will have the chance to stand at the edge of murky waters, wondering what possibilities may be swimming underneath the surface. 

Your heart will say, go...but your mind will echo, wait. 

People in the shadows will stand behind you and comment, offer "advice".

They will secretly long to follow, but their "logical" fears will keep them on the shoreline.

Listen to yourself. Step out. Forget about the hooded naysayers behind you, 

before their voices become your own.

You have possibilities to discover.

*********

Lesson number TWO:

Everyday you have the chance to throw off your fears and run with freedom the path marked for you.

Knowing that freedom, and enjoying that freedom, will be your choice.

There will be those that stand at the sidelines and look with amused, perhaps judgmental, concern.

A slight furrow in their brow will reveal that they "don't approve" of the way you run.

(Or that you are having too much fun.)

They will always be the watchers and never the runners. 

So ignore them, before they take the wind out of your sails 

and you find yourself standing on the sidelines with them.

Lay your fears aside and run with freedom.

*********

Lesson number THREE:

Sometime in your life you will be happily in a field picking flowers, gathering them in bunches, marveling at their wild beauty. Out of nowhere your peace will be interrupted by the voices of "experts" who will look at your bouquet and exclaim: 

But they are WEEDS! 

They will question your eye for beauty and wonder why you give attention to such worthless things.

Do not drop the weeds. 

Do not allow those "experts" to cause you to hang your head in shame. They are nearsighted.

If those "weeds" are beautiful to you...

...then they are beautiful indeed.

Your eye for beauty is uniquely yours, so keep on gathering those "weeds".

*********

Your journey is between you and God alone. No one else can define it for you. 

Others may chime in with their thoughts and advice, but listen graciously and wisely. 

Learn to run with freedom, setting aside needless fear. 

And above all take the time to discover and love the person you were created to be.

the really really nice family...

As I mentioned yesterday, I was asked to do a family "portrait" of a large size this past weekend. 

Aside from the fact that "portraits" do not fall into the category of my "strengths" as  photographer, it wound up being a fun hour of hanging with a really really nice family. I told them they needed to invite me to another family gathering, like at the beach, so I could just be with them and document their time together. Now that I would love to do! I am thinking of marketing myself as a "fly on the wall" photographer. You know, just pretend that I am just one of the fam and take me with you and I will be the primary photographer. It's my favorite way to be behind the lens.

Anyway, here are some of the snapshots of our time together...

 

My favorite picture of the entire day was this one...

This is my friend who asked me to take the family pictures. What makes it my favorite is that I know that her beauty matches her heart. Which is no big surprise to me.

She's part of a really really nice family.

He's a fan, but I'm a FAN.

A sweet friend of mine asked if I would do a large family portrait for her parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Twelve family members all posed and smiling. (No pressure, Kathy.)  We got together this morning and I did my posing duties (it wasn't that painful) but of course found myself drawn to capturing the candid moments...especially of Big D.  His entire family are Sharks fans. Just scroll on down, it will be obvious. He and his sister have the most gorgeous hair and eyes and smiles. (Melt my heart.) And his family were just the nicest people. Like really nice. When you have the Sharks bonding you together you cannot help but be awesome. Well, now the Shark's number one fan has his very own (non-family member) number one fan: Me! Big D, I promise I won't be one of those crazy stalker fans, but I was kinda bummed that forgot to ask you for your autograph.

 

Candid Shark gathering moments...

  

 I mean seriously friends, look at those siblings. Are they not just the cutest kids ever?!

They exude awesomeness in those Sharks jerseys.

  

(A private note to mom: Mom, here is his head shot. Please take it up to the Gap headquarters in SF and tell them he needs to be in the next Gap marketing campaign. Tell them that his number one fan sent you and that if they need more head shots I'd be happy to offer my services.)

 

More pictures of him and his extended family tomorrow.
Right now just I'm going to go write my very first fan letter.

don't judge me, you know you have family moments like this

I cannot believe I am actually posting this. These pics have sat waiting as I have labored over whether to share them or not. (Not because they are just so-so pics but because of the story I'd have to tell if I posted them.)  If you are one the select family members that happened to be sitting at the table that night, you too, are probably questioning my decision. (But I bet you had a good laugh as you saw these photos pop up on your screen. You needed no explanation cause you were an eyewitness to the events. Lucky you.)

The scene:

It was my mom's birthday and we had just finished her very yummy chocolate, ice cream birthday cake.

She and Bean were to the right of me looking through the photo book I had just given to her. My sister-in-law was to the left of me. As the girls looked through the photo memory book, commenting on various pictures, we were tuned out to the mischief going on across the table. I would like to note here that this was the male side of the table.

As the gals chit-chatted, our ability to multi-task kicked in and our listening radars picked up on a noise. It was the not the noise of other conversations, or music playing in the background, but the noise frequently heard at tables dominantly occupied by men. 

It was the noise of some very expressive flatulence. (Totally labored over that last phrase--and I cannot believe I just used the word flatulence in my blog.)

It took me a few seconds to bring the events across the table into focus, but when I did, I discovered:

1. My brother, the fun Uncle, had given Zach his phone and the two of them had downloaded (I would not put it past my brother if it was already on his phone) an app that, shall we say, demonstrated various renditions of flatulent talent. And just because I have already tossed all sense of decorum out the blog window I will tell you that each rendition had a name describing each one. (I will not tell you the names because I need to maintain something of my dignity.)

2. My son was slowly making his way down the list of flatulence options, listening to each one, and doing so with a look of quiet amusement that was crescendoing into uncontainable giggling.

3. My brother, the Uncle, was next to him quietly laughing, but then quickly moved to tears brought on by side splitting laughter. (Note him in the top right picture: he had to remove himself into the kitchen.)

4. My husband was also in tears. That's him hiding behind the napkin. He later told me that he did not want to be caught on camera with a face scrunched up in painful laughter, tears flowing down his face. (So glad he could save some dignity.)

5. My dad sat quietly chuckling.

My mom, bless her heart, continued to look at her new photo book and laugh every so often at the boyish behavior. When it became clear that the boys had come undone, the uncontrollable laughter was infectious. Forget the phone app, I was laughing at my son laughing (not sure I had ever seen him laugh so hard), my husband quietly shaking behind his napkin, and the fact that my brother had to remove himself from the table.

Despite the fact that this happened at the dinner table on my mom's birthday (poor mom), all that laughter was good for the soul.

Later when we were talking about it, I told my hubby that it was fun to watch the course of Zach's expressions on his face. He went from quiet amusement that bordered on embarrassment, unsure if it was okay to freely laugh...to throwing inhibition to the wind, letting himself laugh at what his boy heart found super duper funny.  Scott said that he thought it was cool that Zach had entered into a part of manhood that night: sitting at the table with his dad, uncle, and papa as one of the guys.

I am not sure whether I should thank my brother for helping carry out that rite of passage? But I do know that when a family laughs together it has to be good.

Happy Friday Friends. I hope the setting aside of my dignity today brought you a good TGIF giggle. 

A bug's life...

Ever capture bugs and make a home for them in a jar?
Feed them grass and dirt, give them rocks to climb on?

Ever punch holes in the top of the jar so "they could breathe"
and you could feel good about not suffocating them?

Ever check in on them from time to time to make sure they were comfortable?

(and still alive)

 Ever peek in and admire the intricate little world you created just for them?

If you have answered with a nodding yes and a smile then you know the fascination of discovering and watching worlds that exist apart from our immediate own.

As life carries on in macro and micro levels, all of it is working with purposeful energy to create order and survival. Think about a colony of ants, a hive of bees. Or the millions of blood cells pulsing through your veins...the organs encased inside your skin...all doing their thing.

We all buzz and hum together in a beautiful rhythm we call life,

often unaware of each other...until we stop to look.

Today, a fellow blogger of mine posted an amazing video she discovered.

I implore you to go over and watch it. 

(Make sure you read how it was made before you watch.)

You can click here to see it.

And take the time to read her own words after you watch and leave her a comment.

I thought her words were so beautifully articulated I just wanted to share. :)

After you do, you will know why I posted these pictures today.

Is not life just amazing?

Making good on a promise

So forgive me if you are not a furry friend lover. Just scroll on down and enjoy my words instead. 

(And laugh and shake your head at me, cause I totally deserve it.)

Ever since my daughter has had words she has made known her request for a cuddly, furry, perfect kitten. I have wanted it for her because I know she is an animal lover and her collection of stuffed animals was not satisfying the need. (And I wasn't willing to compromise by getting a hamster because frankly I can't deal with the whole cleaning the cage thing.) The idea of having to take care of another living thing created anxiety in this introverted soul of mine. When her Grammy adopted a kitten over a year ago I thought that the itch might be scratched enough to curb the desire, but alas it only fueled it.

One night shortly before Christmas as my not-so-much-furry-creature-lovin'-husband plopped in bed he said, "I think we should get her a kitten." To which I replied, "Really?! You mean it?"

He wanted to do the whole scene out of a movie on Christmas morning, whipping it out of his coat pocket as he kneeled to present it to her. I, being the more realistic one, put a halt to that fantasy and told him we needed to get it after our trip to Disneyland. (You can't just bring a kitten home and then leave it for a week.) And it would buy us time. So instead I bought some kitten toys and wrapped them up and put them under the Christmas tree and the dream of a kitten was made future reality as the kids opened the gift that morning.

Fast forward...

Driving home from Disneyland somewhere on highway 5 my daughter asks, "Are we going to go to the kitten store on the way home and buy our kitten?" The hubby and I exchange glances and broke the news to her that kitten shopping would be done another day. Finding a "just right" kitten for our family would take time and patience, but we knew we needed to make good on our word.

As I sat on the porch during the break in the rain the neighborhood kitty scooted up and parked herself on the step next to me. While I scratched her ears and chin I had this feeling that I often have these days when holding a friend's new baby: this little one is so cute and soft and adorable but I don't want to take it home. It was that feeling a couple of years ago that affirmed my decision to stick with my two kids and close up the baby making shop. And here I am having this same feeling with the neighborhood kitty.

What have I done?

To add to this my brother sent me this video which only created more anxiety.

I am about to bring a furry, frisky, energizer ball of fuzz into my home and there is no going back!

If there ever was a time traveling machine I could use it right about now. I would go back to Christmas day and snag that present out from under the tree.

But then I would still see the longing in my daughter's heart. I have to remind myself that she is not asking for a pony or a car (yet), she is asking for a cat. I grew up with cats. I like cats. I can do this. I can make good on a promise.

14 years ago today...

...I married my pal.
We went out to lunch today and he brought me flowers.
(Thanks Pal.)

So, after 14 years of being with him, I have come to learn that:

1.
He is an extrovert. I am introvert.
(He likes parties and living amongst neighbors.
I like the quiet and would love to live on acres.) 

2.
He is an external processor. I am an internal one.
(He uses 50,000 words a day. I am content to use 25,000.)

3.
He loves rock and jazz. I only like jazz when I am with him.
(And rock? I can live without Metallica and Cheap Trick.)

4.
He is a P on the Myers Briggs. I am a J.
(Google it...it explains a lot.)

5.
He is a thinker and dwells in the sky of ideas and possibilities.
I am grounded in the concrete and need to see action.
(It makes for a good combo.)

6.
He is a rule breaker, anti-establishment kinda guy.
I am a safe rule follower.
(Makes for good conflict, especially in the car.)

7.
He thrives on process. I'd rather be eaten by a bear than suffer through process.
(Move on sailor!)

8.
He loves coffee, Starbucks, and could live with an IV drip if permitted.
I could never step into a Starbucks again and be completely fine with it.
(Caffeine is evil. Evil.)

9.
He likes to go from point A to point B by taking route A--D-E-T-O-U-R--B.
I like to go from point A to point B by taking route A--B.
(Sometimes I just need to relax.)

10.
He loves banana cream pie. I love chocolate cake.
(Gag on the custard thing.)

11.
He likes to circle the parking lot twice before choosing a parking spot.
I pick the first one available.
(Refer back to #9)

12. 
He loves to compete. I.do.not.
(Warning: never ever play Monopoly with him. Or Scrabble.)

13.
He is witty and funny, naturally smart, and good with numbers.
I am...well...sooooo not good with numbers.
(My 7th grade math teacher use to throw erasers at me, and not because I was funny.)

14.
He is charismatic, influential, loved by many, and could sell a blue sock to a stranger on the street.
I know I am loved by many, but I have a hard time even selling myself something.
(Working on that.)

Yet after all these years I have come to also learn that even though we are different, we are like two puzzle pieces. We fit. The very self lessons I needed to learn came from living in a relationship with him. He has always been a good listener, loyal and true, able to give me the space to grow. He is a man of integrity, fully trustworthy, and an amazing father...and for that I love and admire him.

Right now he is putting the kids down for the night, reading Calvin and Hobbes to our daughter in our bed, while I finish my blog. He will then spend a few minutes with Zach and talk about their day, give him a kiss goodnight. After that he will grab a glass of wine and we'll curl up in bed with his laptop and watch the last two episodes of Lost.  Because my favorite thing after 14 years of being married to him is just "being" with him. I love that.

(Love you Pal.)

Sweet Sisters

I have always wondered what it would be like to have a sister...to share bedrooms, clothes, secrets.

My only experience with a sibling is growing up with my younger brother. Need I say more? (And that's probably all I need to say about that since it is his birthday today and I should probably refrain from pesty, pokey comments. Love ya bro. Happy bday!)

But these two are sister buddies. They share a big bedroom, own an adorable miniature hamster named "Hammy", play with their American girl dolls, tell secrets.  I love that they will always have each other.

Their dad is a master builder and he created this amazing little playhouse for them, complete with cute little IKEA decorations, electricity and a lamp post. Every time we visit my daughter makes it her mission to get out there and enjoy it. (Bean: "Mom, can dad build one of these for us?" Me: "Um, you might want to stick with just going to Chuck E. Cheese with him, he's much better at that kind of stuff.")

Here are the kids on the porch just being a bit goofy.
Not pictured: my daughter, who is happily inside.

 Hope your week is off to a great start!
xoxo

Remember Mr. Serious?

Remember Mr. Serious ? I chased this little guy around last fall. His mama asked if I would snap some pictures of him again on this very very special day: his 2nd birthday. (Actually he's a leap year baby so they are celebrating it today!) A photo shoot with a two year old is basically just a game of chase, because frankly, what two year old boy wants to stop and look at a camera?? He's got waaaaaay more important things to do, like shoot some hoops and go explore. It was good exercise this morning and I loved being with him.

Check out those mad vertical skills at the hoop. Look out NBA!

Ummm, look at those curls! And he just got a hair cut!

A little time on the bocci ball court...

Blue jeans, blue striped socks, blue shoes. Blue blue blue.

Penny for your thoughts?

What a special little boy...a soon to be heart breaker with those crazy curls and blue eyes.

Happy birthday big two year old!

other-worldly

My kids often ask me what it will be like in heaven: will we have our own bodies, what age will we be, will we have our XBox, tv, blankies, you know, the important stuff.  I always answer with the, "I do not know" line because I simply do. not. know. But it is fun to talk about what might possibly be: no fighting with your brother/sister, perfect bodies, free passes to Disneyland, no more loss, disease, pain, tears, discontent...

Before I deleted this blurred, mishap photo of my daughter running towards me I paused. I wound up staring at it for some time because it twanged some deep emotional string inside of me. It looked other-worldly, angelic, eerie. (Is it just me?) Anyway, it sent me into this moment of deep reflection of spiritual matters (too heavy to outline here). In a nut shell, it caused me to ponder on what I was really made of: not bones, water, blood...but something more. You know, eternal and purposeful. Then it reminded me of the truth that in the final moment of my life I will not care about how much money I did (more like did not) make, or where I lived, what I owned, how organized I was, or if I was cute and hip and trendy enough. And if it will not matter in the end, then how much should it matter now? How I long to get busy living for the more, rather than painfully discovering too late that I forfeited the opportunity.  Make sense?

Anyhoo, deep Saturday morning thoughts. Now on to help the hubby clean the garage, organize and toss. (Which actually could create more deep Saturday thoughts, but probably not appropriate to share here if I'd like to save my marriage.)


p.s. When Scott saw this picture he was tripping out. He thought that her shadow looked like a wolf.   Totally. Way too deep though for my Saturday.